The Sefardi Browser on the Mac?

by TELZ ANGEL

I was talking to a techie in Bensonhurst who explained to me that in order to get onto the internet when using an iMac computer, you need to use the Sefardi browser.

I never heard of the Sefardi browser, but I’m a techie kind of guy myself. So I started to imagine its unique features: (Sorry in advanced for the geekiness.)

• The mouse pointer becomes a Hamsa.
• Sefardi browser’s search engine will never suggest that you buy from an online retailer, because she knows of a lady who sells it much cheaper out of her house.
• The Sefardi browser is not allowed some in ashekenazi schools in Bet Shemesh, even if you download the charedi theme-pack.
• The Sefardi browser does not recognize file conversions.
• Sometimes the sefardi browser displays symbols that cannot be read. But if you scan them with your eyes, it brings good luck.
• The Sefardi browser supports tabs, but they are bound in white leather and use gold lettering.
• Ali-Baba-Sali is the default search engine.
• Sefardi never has a major release, it sings in the hedaj maqam mode.
• Sefardi browser understands Javascript and Ladino.
• When you type in HTTPS in the Sefardi browser, it uses the crypto-Judeo algorithm and goes into incognito mode.
• You’d never boot a Sefardi browser. It prefers to wear low heel slip-on shoes with tassels.
• The Sefardi browser permits consuming bit.ly links on passover.
• At festive occasions Sefardi browser goes to Lululululululu.com.
• To watch some streaming content, you need to download the Allepo Codex.

and

• Whenever you play a social game on Facebook using the Sefardi browser, you’ll always beat your wife.

Any other features?

Source: Frumsatire